Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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