Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
