i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
