I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
