if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
