Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
