dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate