I think my fart just growled at me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.