Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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