we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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