Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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