I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
