well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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