i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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