my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
