Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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