She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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