turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
