Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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