OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
