But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
