what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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