is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
