shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
