Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
All I want is dick and wine.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
