he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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