there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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