I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
