trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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