how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
