I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
