it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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