I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
