Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
