We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Someone signed my nipple.
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