I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
