ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Sorry my hands just texted you
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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