This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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