Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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