i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
