just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
