At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
