why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
