Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
