We're like a lot better than the average bears
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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