the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
