Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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