you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
