You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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