thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
