Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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