dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
