i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
