I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
