I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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