i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
