Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
