I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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