brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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