someone threw a dead crab at me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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