the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
