we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize